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Blog - BDSM Box

Play is the first kink lifestyle brand.

Take Me Down a Peg: Does getting pegged make you a sub?

Sasha Sobolevsky

So, let’s talk about pegging! More specifically, I want to address some of our assumptions about what a pegging dynamic can and should be.

Strictly defined, pegging is just anal sex where a woman/femme partner tops a man/masc partner with a dildo, but it’s taken on a wider connotation of dominance and submission in the BDSM world. Hetero male bottoms happily (or not so happily) taking their mistresses’ dicks is the most common pegging imagery, and the fact of being the fucker rather than the fuckee is seen as an act of dominance in itself.

However, I think we as a community could stand to expand our kink repertoire when it comes to incorporating pegging. In my opinion, more doms should be getting pegged. Why should we assume that being the receiver in anal sex is automatically a form of submission? There is a taking inherent in getting fucked, a receiving of selfish pleasure without returning equivalent pleasure to the pegging partner, who fucks purely in service to the pegged partner. (The lack of nerve endings in dildos — at least our current models — makes sure of that.) Done right, a good peg can be an exquisite tease for the top, who gets to watch their partner get off on their cock without a chance of getting off themselves.

What’s more, why should we stick to gender-based pegging roles, where the femme person pegs and the masc person gets pegged? Strap a dildo on someone with a penis and fuck it instead, and watch them go crazy with frustration. Strap a dildo over your own dick to fuck your sub with a bigger (or smaller!) dick than usual. Get creative with it! Especially if you’re in a cis/het couple, adding and subtracting dicks where they don’t usually exist can be a great way to interact sexually with your partner in ways neither of you would ordinarily get to.

In short: taking a dick doesn’t make you a sub, and strapping one on doesn’t make you a dom. But it can! It all depends on how you navigate it with your partner.

Mx C