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Blog - BDSM Box

Play is the first kink lifestyle brand.

Filtering by Tag: cuckold

Cuck: It’s Not Just a Right-Wing Insult

Sasha Sobolevsky

Three people wearing suits with their backs towards the camera

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a situation as awkward for people who have a particular fetish as the current use of the word “cuck” in terrible political discourse. It must be pretty uncomfortable to tell someone what you’re into and have them respond, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard that word in news segments about the alt-right!” I mean, BDSM being known as “that 50 Shades of Grey stuff” for the better part of the 2010s was bad enough…

So what is cucking, in its pure kink context, unsullied by awful politics? It’s essentially being in an open relationship, but with the added bonus that the person who’s not having sex in that moment gets to fetishize their role as well. The key difference between cucking and simple non-monogamy is the element of fetishizing the taboo, that the partner in question is not “supposed” to be hooking up with other people.

The fetish originated in the power structures of heterosexual marriage, but has moved beyond that realm as non-straight couples have gotten access to socially recognized monogamy. Social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, who has studied the cuckolding phenomenon, tells CNN: “For gay men, cuckolding isn't quite as taboo because the norm of lifelong monogamy isn't so strong in the LGBT community; however, it can still be arousing for a number of other reasons,” which include voyeur and group sex fantasies.

So how can you tell if cucking could be right for you, when the nature of the kink itself is so fraught with possible emotional pitfalls? “We found several personality factors that predict more positive experiences acting on cuckolding fantasies. For those who have a lot of relationship anxiety or abandonment issues, who lack intimacy and communication, and who aren't careful, detail-oriented planners, acting on a consensual non-monogamy fantasy could very well be a negative experience,” says Lehmiller. In other words, trust, as in every kink situation, is key, as are good planning and an open mind. Then, who knows? You might find yourself getting a little secret thrill whenever you see someone on the internet get called a cuck…

Mx C