I've been thinking a lot about squirting and it's misconceptions. Truth be told, I wasn't even that sure I understood it, and I've done it! So I obviously did a Google search for “squirting.”
The first hit was “How to Squirt During Sex,” a Cosmopolitan article from 2016. The first sentence of the article reads “Like coconut water, culottes, and CrossFit, squirting is having a moment.” Talking about female sexual phenomenon is having a “moment”?!?! And I know that Cosmo is not typically the hub of scientific (or even factual) sexual information, but did you just compare squirting to culottes???
Herein lies the general problem of sexual misconceptions: we are in such a race to come, that we ignore the process, the who what where when why how.
Moving right along, the next Google hit is also a Cosmo article, followed by Urban Dictionary’s definition of squirting. Not good, internet. In addition, Wikipedia (I know, super legit source), states that “To date, there have been no conclusive or major studies relating to female ejaculation.” My cursory study of the internet agrees with this statement. I don’t even see a basic level of agreement of what squirting, aka female ejaculation, is. And can we talk about the fact that it’s referred to as FEMALE ejaculation? Why we gotta specify the gender? Is it less legitimate than a regular, aka male, ejaculation?
Large social problems aside, in the scientific community it is still unknown whether ejaculate, as I will now refer to it, consists of urine, vaginal fluid, or something entirely different. There are thousands upon thousands of personal stories online about what ejaculate smells like, tastes like, feels like, when it happens, and how to make it happen.
My research leads me to conclude that there is no hard and fast rule about ejaculation. Some womxn experience it before orgasm, some during, some without orgasm at all. Most agree that it does not seem to be urine, at least in smell and consistency. Some have it through masturbation, some through sexual intercourse, some through both together. Some can only have it when alone, some only when with a partner, some not at all ever. Here’s the thing though: IT DOESN’T MATTER and it doesn’t make you any better or worse no matter which combination you are (or your partner is). Yep, I said it. You are whole, complete, and perfect either way. If your partner doesn’t believe / respect that, get rid of them!
To add my own personal story to the mix, I had my first ejaculation when I was 29 with a partner. He was fingering my g-spot very intensely, and it felt great! All of a sudden, some fluid came out onto the bed. But I hadn’t orgasmed. I freaked out because I thought I peed and I was so embarrassed. He calmed me down and explained that I squirted. And that he thought it was sexy. I still had to feel and smell it, and it really didn’t smell or feel like pee. I would say that quite a bit came out, which is why I thought I peed. Not like a geyser, but a lot. The second time I squirted I was fingering my own g-spot, without orgasm.
I hope that reading this, you feel normal. Because you are! I am too! So are people who make you feel bad for not being able to squirt, or orgasm, or etc., etc., etc. They are just jerks. If you want to try to squirt, DO IT! Alone, with a partner, with 4 partners, do you. As long as it is safe, sane, and consensual.