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Blog - BDSM Box

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Foot Fetishism: Expressing Your Intimate Desires

Sasha Sobolevsky

Fetishes and kinks are on the rise as many people are trying out things beyond conventional sex. Many people certain fantasies and desires when it comes to sex but for various reasons such as religious, societal and institutional constraints, they only dream about such fantasies. People tend to shy away talking about these kinks because of the guilt and stigma associated with those desires. What are fetishes and kinks? Is it weird to have such desires? How can these desires help my sex life? This article explores foot fetishism as a whole.

Legs and feet in stockings

Fetishes and kinks: an overview

These two words are often used as synonyms by some but there is a difference. A fetish is something that arouses sexual excitement in a person’s body which could be from a non-sexual inanimate object, a non-sexual part of the human body or particular human behavior. A kink, on the other hand, is an unusual sexual practice which might be considered deviant from normal sexual intercourse (conventional sex).

Having fetish and kinky desires does not make you odd!

Many people’s sexual fantasies fall under the category of kinks and fetishes. Thanks to mainstream media, research, and people voicing out such desires, many can now try out such fantasies and fulfill their desires. People tend to consider and tag other persons who exhibit such desires as odd. However, it is normal to desire such fetishes. Whether you desire kinks such as role play, BDSM, age play, impact play or you have a fetish for body parts like the feet and hands, or you are aroused by objects like lingerie or heels, you are normal. Let’s consider the popular fetish known as the foot fetish. Research published in the International Journal of Impotence Research in 2007 posited that about half of people who have fetishes have a thing for feet.

What is a foot fetish?

A foot fetish is a sexual attraction to human feet. A person with a foot fetish loves playing, kissing or interacting with their sexual partner’s feet. Similarly, a person with a foot fetish might love if their partner gives that type of attention to their feet, that is, be on the receiving end. Foot fetishes could involve a preference for certain types of feet (big or small feet), an adorned foot (heels, shoes) or a bare foot. Others might like a certain smell or scent on the feet. Quite a number of foot fetishists enjoying having the feet they worship in colorful nylon stockings while others tend to develop a fetish for shoes (they love to see their partner’s feet in shoes and could get turned on by the smell of the previously worn shoes). Foot fetishists often engage in the act of “foot worship” – this is the treatment of the feet like a sacred object, therefore, worshiping it by sucking, rubbing and caressing it. Some foot fetishists might want to explore pain during foot play; they may want their partner to stand or walk on them for their own pleasure. When it comes to fetishes, there is really no clear-cut boundaries on the desires of a fetishist.

Why is foot fetishism popular?

Scholars and historians, by studying literature from medieval periods, have suggested that foot fetishes began to garner popularity and practice as a result of diseases that could be contracted through sex during such periods. Another school of thought suggests that the media over the years has eroticized female feet by portraying the feet as sexy. Magazines and TV always show sexy feet of models and beauty queens that are well pedicured and clad in beautiful heels. This could be responsible for a subconscious conditioning of the mind, leading to an intimate obsession with the feet and has made many fantasize the feet.

Exploring your foot fetish desires

Whether you like giving love to the feet of your sexual partner or you like being the receiver of such pleasures, here are a few ways to express and receive satisfaction as a foot fetishist.

Pedicures and massages

One little way to explore your foot fetish is to get a pedicure. It helps to get your feet prepared for various fetish activities that might come your way. A massage is also a great way to satisfy your fetish because it is very enjoyable. Quality foot massages are one of the perks of having a partner who can give attention to your feet; not only will it get your feet in shape, but it could also turn you on and get your ready for other sexual activity.

Foot worship and oral foot play

Foot worship is a part of foot fetishism that involves kissing and licking the feet. It is pleasurable when a partner gives oral attention to the feet. Some might add kinky role play to this.

Masturbation and foot jobs

Fetishists who also have a fetish for shoes and heels can explore the avenue of stroking their genitals with the footwear or self-stimulating while admiring feet or footwear. Similarly, fetishists might engage in foot jobs. It can be as simple as stimulating your partner’s genitals with your feet.



In short, foot fetishes are normal and people who desire feet would experience fulfillment in their sex lives if they explore and satisfy their desires. Communicate your desires with your partner, get their consent and play it safe by taking precautions and using protection.

Eseandre Mordi

Squirting

Sasha Sobolevsky

I've been thinking a lot about squirting and it's misconceptions. Truth be told, I wasn't even that sure I understood it, and I've done it! So I obviously did a Google search for “squirting.”

The first hit was “How to Squirt During Sex,” a Cosmopolitan article from 2016. The first sentence of the article reads “Like coconut water, culottes, and CrossFit, squirting is having a moment.” Talking about female sexual phenomenon is having a “moment”?!?! And I know that Cosmo is not typically the hub of scientific (or even factual) sexual information, but did you just compare squirting to culottes???

Lower body of a person wearing denim culottes

Herein lies the general problem of sexual misconceptions: we are in such a race to come, that we ignore the process, the who what where when why how.

Moving right along, the next Google hit is also a Cosmo article, followed by Urban Dictionary’s definition of squirting. Not good, internet. In addition, Wikipedia (I know, super legit source), states that “To date, there have been no conclusive or major studies relating to female ejaculation.” My cursory study of the internet agrees with this statement. I don’t even see a basic level of agreement of what squirting, aka female ejaculation, is. And can we talk about the fact that it’s referred to as FEMALE ejaculation? Why we gotta specify the gender? Is it less legitimate than a regular, aka male, ejaculation?

Large social problems aside, in the scientific community it is still unknown whether ejaculate, as I will now refer to it, consists of urine, vaginal fluid, or something entirely different. There are thousands upon thousands of personal stories online about what ejaculate smells like, tastes like, feels like, when it happens, and how to make it happen.

My research leads me to conclude that there is no hard and fast rule about ejaculation. Some womxn experience it before orgasm, some during, some without orgasm at all. Most agree that it does not seem to be urine, at least in smell and consistency. Some have it through masturbation, some through sexual intercourse, some through both together. Some can only have it when alone, some only when with a partner, some not at all ever. Here’s the thing though: IT DOESN’T MATTER and it doesn’t make you any better or worse no matter which combination you are (or your partner is). Yep, I said it. You are whole, complete, and perfect either way. If your partner doesn’t believe / respect that, get rid of them!

To add my own personal story to the mix, I had my first ejaculation when I was 29 with a partner. He was fingering my g-spot very intensely, and it felt great! All of a sudden, some fluid came out onto the bed. But I hadn’t orgasmed. I freaked out because I thought I peed and I was so embarrassed. He calmed me down and explained that I squirted. And that he thought it was sexy. I still had to feel and smell it, and it really didn’t smell or feel like pee. I would say that quite a bit came out, which is why I thought I peed. Not like a geyser, but a lot. The second time I squirted I was fingering my own g-spot, without orgasm.

I hope that reading this, you feel normal. Because you are! I am too! So are people who make you feel bad for not being able to squirt, or orgasm, or etc., etc., etc. They are just jerks. If you want to try to squirt, DO IT! Alone, with a partner, with 4 partners, do you. As long as it is safe, sane, and consensual.

<3, Sasha

Racial and Social Problematic Elements of BDSM

Sasha Sobolevsky

I have many times considered society's role in my being a woman who is a BDSM submissive. Sometimes it really upsets me but overall, I accept that it makes me happy, and I wouldn't like to live my life any other way. As long as I am safe, sane, and the activities I participate in are consensual, I am ok with it.

I have recently also been considering the problematic racial dynamics within BDSM. This is a harder for me to contend with. I am a white woman, and I won't pretend to approach that I understand the ramifications. Instead, I will let the words of others stand in where I have none of my own. Please take a look at the following articles. As the US is currently undergoing a reckoning, I believe that BDSM is not free from the race and gender issues that plague the country, and the world. I don’t know what to do about it, but I know that we need to continue talking about it.

With love,

Sasha

 

https://newsone.com/3774527/black-dominatrix-feminist-theory-supremacy-mistress-velvet/

http://www.papermag.com/muslim-bdsm-leather-kink-fetish-2535544218.html

https://www.bustle.com/articles/121570-the-bdsm-motto-is-safe-sane-and-consensual-but-is-that-good-enough